The tales of Randomclan
by BlackVeiledProxy
Summary: Drabbles of quotes in warriors cats life. Quotes such as: Sarcasm isn't an attitude it's an art and Boys don't fall for me I trip them
1. Chapter 1

The tales of Randomclan! Quote human version: Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART. (It's the same for the cat's version) Flashstar padded around his den. It was small and stupid. The warriors den was huge. He should force about all his warriors out of it, and push them into the tiny leaders den. It was a wonderful idea. So quickly he padded up to that huge random rock on which he stood to announce clan meetings. Flashstar padded around on the rock for a while. He had forgotten the words for the ceremony of calling the cats. Oh well they should respond to anything, "You cats gather here if you want to keep your precious fresh-kill!" Quickly the cats gathered around the base of the rock. Moonflight, the deputy, looked up at her leader. He had some mental challenges. It seemed she was one of the only normal ones in her clan. Her leader looked as if Starclan themselves had destined him to have 9 extra lives. That would be a nightmare though. Why did Starclan even allow him to have nine lives in the first place? "I have made an important decision. All my warriors will move into my den, and I will take their huge den!" Flashstar grinned like a...like a...crazy cat. Jaypaw rolled her silver eyes. In false enthusiasm she called out, "Oh that's a brilliant idea Flashstar. Next why don't you take the elders in a badger's den for leaf-bare!" Flashstar's eyes widened in amazement at the young apprentice, "That's the best idea I've ever heard!" Jaypaw face-pawed herself, could this tom get any crazier? The elders shot her a glare filled with pure venom. Flashstar then forget the name of his own clan. How no cat knows, "Erm what's the name of this clan anyways?" Moonflight yowled, "It's Thunderclan Flashstar!" Flashstar looked dumbfounded, "Well why not call it Flashclan after me!" Jaypaw rolled her eyes again, 'Oh yeah let's call it Randomclan while we're at it?" Flashstar grinned again, "Oh I love your idea Jaypaw! From now on this clan shall be known as Randomclan!" Scarpaw glared at his sister, "Nice sarcasm sis. Now the clan is doomed." Jaypaw smirked evilly, "Sarcasm isn't an attitude it's an art." 


	2. Icepaw's voices

**Striker in the Night: I know sorry about that. My computer didn't want to load the text properly so I couldn't see how it looked. **

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_Quote human version: Shut up voices or I'll poke you with a fork  
Cat version: Shut up voices or I'll claw you_

__Icepaw padded around in the apprentice's den. She had been hearing whispering all night. All she had done was talk to Scarpaw. The only words she had said were hi. Then she blushed thinking about him. Dark smooth brown fur, and those warm amber eyes. She sighed and smiled with a dreamy look on her face. _You love him Icepaw. Follow your heart. _Icepaw jumped up paranoid. Those voices...they were following her. Oh those evil stalkers.

Thorntail walked into the den like a leader. He seriously though he was leader, too bad. He was also Icepaw's mentor. Which really sucked. He was way too serious for her. Thorntail was just as boring to Icepaw as the elders. Starclan, he could be one, "Icepaw we're going training."

Icepaw looked up with excited green eyes, "Oh yay! What're we gonna learn?"

Thorntail sighed moodily, "We're going to go battle training in the hollow."

Icepaw groaned, she hated battle training. Scarpaw was the exact opposite, how romantic right? _You love him Icepaw. talk about a major crush. You are head paws for that tom. _Icepaw jumped straight into the air and clawed angrily at it. Those voices needed to shut the Dark Forest up.

Thorntail looked over at Icepaw, "We're not at the hollow yet. Don't unsheathe your claws."

Icepaw gasped, "But Thorntail, the voices are telling me things!"

Thorntail put his paw over his face, his apprentice had finally cracked. The whole way to the hollow she muttered, "Shut up voices, or I'll claw you."_  
_


	3. Scarpaw's accident

**Frostbliss: Thank you, most of them are on my profile. Others friends give me. **

**Snowheart: Thanks**

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_Quote human version: Friendship is like peeing on yourself, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling that it brings.  
Cat version: Same_

Scarpaw was so excited. Today was his first solo hunting mission. It was over by the edge of the forest. Scarpaw's tail suck straight up with excitement. There was no way he was going to fail it. Every bit of fur on his body stuck up with anticipation. His mentor kept giving him nervous glances. Scarpaw could do this, he just knew it.

Lightsky, his mentor, mewed, "Calm down Scarpaw. Starclan isn't descending down to see you. It's just an assessment to see how well you're getting along."

Scarpaw shook his head and his eyes grew bigger. Then he heard amused purrs from every cat in the clearing. He felt very warm and sticky. He looked down and discovered that he had went on himself. Oh great...no cat's going to forget this until this whole generation is dead. Every kit will hear about it from the elders. This was so not good. He was an embarassement.

Icepaw ran up the slope and hissed at anyone who was still snickering at Scarpaw. Scarpaw flashed her a grateful glance. Together they padded down by the stream. Scarpaw dived in and started shaking himself in the water. Icepaw ducked and watched.

Scarpaw knew he had to say something, but he didn't know what, "Um..thanks."

Icepaw smiled, "No problem, that's what friends are for."

Scarpaw's heart stopped. He had a friend. He actually had a real friend, "WHOOOO!" Icepaw gave him a freaked glance, but in a matter of seconds she went on cheering with the dark brown tom. They padded back into camp side by side. This time the clan cats were smiling at them. Scarpaw then realized something that his tiny mind had never realized before '_Friendship is like peeing on yourself, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling that it brings'_

__**Review please!**


	4. Fangstorm's forest problem

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**Fanficreader: Thanks LOL**

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_Quote human version: I'm not clumsy, the floor just hates me  
Cat version: I'm not clumsy, the forest just hates me_

Fangstorm was the newest warrior in the clan. He had done his best to impress his mentor. He had done very well. Now he was going on a patrol with the deputy, Moonflight. It was a huge honor since she was just about the only normal cat in the clan. Fangstorm had been up quite a while remembering hunting moves so much. Now he was ready to impress her.

Moonflight padded up with curiosity flashing in her eyes, "Are you ready for the hunt?" Fangstorm nodded eagerly and padded after her. Soon they reached the forest. The trees were tall, and the cool grass felt good to Fangstorm's paws. Soon he picked up the scent of a juicy vole. Fangstorm began to stalk it while keeping his nose to the ground.

Soon he bumped into a random stupid tree, "Ouch! Who put that tree there!" It had hurt and put a bump on his huge inflatable head. That's what the kits told him anyways. They thought he was so full of air, whatever that meant.

Moonflight ran up and watched Fangstorm with amusement, "Starclan put it there." Fangstorm gave a nod and slunk off. He was was going to find something else. A few moments later he had scented a rabbit. This rabbit was going down. Fangstorm crouched low to the ground and then sprang after it.

While running after the rabbit, he tripped on a root, "Stupid root! I almost had that rabbit! Why on Earth does the forest hate me! Why!"

Moonflight padded up again, "You are so clumsy Fangstorm. Admit it, you could never catch anything out here."

Fangstorm gasped horrified, "I am not clumsy, the forest just hates me!"

Moonflight said sarcastically," Sure..Fangstorm..."

**Review please!**


	5. Darkflight's being avoided

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**Snowheart: Thanks :) **

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_Quote human version: Excuse me... have you seen my sanity... I think I lost it  
__Cat version: Same_

Darkflight was padding around the camp. That morning she had done nothing but pad around the camp. Cats were starting to give her weirded out looks. They even went out of their way to avoid her. The cats who had left for the dawn patrol had no idea what was going on. Icepaw, Moonflight, Redfoot, and Jaypaw came back unharmed. All of the cats on the patrol nodded once at her.

Meanwhile Scarpaw who had just left the apprentice's den quickly skirted around her. He gave a small smile to Icepaw then left camp with one last paranoid glance at Darkflight. Darkflight just shrugged if off and ran up quickly to Petalstorm. Petalstorm was nodding at the returning patrol.

Darkflight asked, "Want to go hunting?"

Petalstorm jumped up scared, "Um no thank you Darkflight." Darkflight wondered why everyone was avoiding her, what had she done? Darkflight sat down and waited for any cat to talk to her. She had been so lonely all morning.

Finally Icepaw padded over to her, "Hey Darkflight. What have you been doing?"

Darkflight shrugged casually, "Not much. I don't know why everybody is avoiding me." Icepaw glanced at her carefully, then she remembered what Scarpaw had told her. All of yesterday around dawn Darkflight had been sort of skipping and saying that fish was awesome. Which it wasn't.

Icepaw gave Darkflight a scared glance, "Go find you sanity." Then she ran into the apprentice's den for cover and watched Darkflight in amusement.

Darkflight padded up to the kits and mewed, "Excuse me...have you seen my sanity? I think I lost it."

The kits' eyes went huge and they ran back inside the nursery to their mothers. The queens glared at Darkflight. Darkflight shrugged and chased a leaf that fell down in the air.

Moonflight watched her, was she the only normal cat left in her clan?

**Review please!**


	6. Snakefang's annoying apprentice

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**Muffins Taste Nice: Thank you :) **

**Priceless Cat Lady: XD I know how that is**

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_Quote human version: Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...  
__Cat version: Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried poking an irritated mentor. _

Jaypaw was out for some late training with her mentor, Snakefang. He was super headstrong and kinda evil. Snakefang was always easily annoyed, poor tom. He was always having a challenge with his sarcastic apprentice. Jaypaw was just too much for him. Her brother, Scarpaw, said that she could've had Scourge running for the hills. Not in a fighting way, but with how annoying she could be. Today she would try her skills on Snakefang.

Now Snakefang was easily irritated and hated sarcasm being used against him. That was one of the worst thing that could ever happen to him. He had a few tricks up his paws if any cat ever got too sarcastic too him though. That's the only thing he liked about his apprentice.

Snakefang got down in a crouch and mewed, "Right then attack me."

Jaypaw just sat down and narrowed her eyes, "But I don't many moves, what if I can't fight back?"

Snakefang mentally face-pawed himself. Oh well, he wasn't going to give in, not this time. He looked at her expectantly, "How are you going to become a good warrior if you don't try?"

Jaypaw smiled slightly, "I'll just ask Scarpaw. He pays tons of attention to his mentor."

Snakefang's amber eyes started to flame up slightly. Then he took a deep breath and inflated like one of those two-leg objects you see floating in the sky. (In other words a balloon)

Jaypaw had to keep from smirking. Snakefang looked so ridiculous. He was totally unaware of the fact though. Soon he calmed down and his fur laid flat again. At the end of the training lesson Jaypaw decided to be extra clingy, "Snakefang I'm tired...can I ride on your back?" Snakefang however totally ignored his apprentice horrified at the thought of being that close. Inwardly he shuddered, no way.

Jaypaw repeated at her unresponsive mentor, "Snakefang!" She tried to poke him with her tail, but soon her body slammed against the forest floor roughly.

Snakefang looked down coldly at her, "Try that again, you are dead." Then he slunk off into the shadows like...a...ninja cat.

Jaypaw stalked back into camp angrily and glared at Scarpaw, "Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried poking an irritated mentor. "

**Review please!**


	7. Flashstar succeeded

**dudanni5: XD and I know, I read my stories every now and then. **

**Butterfly that flies at Dawn: Thanks :) **

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_Quote human version: If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.  
__Cat version: Same_

Flashstar was not perfect. In fact he was no where near perfect, but would he admit that to any cat? The answer would always be no. He never got anything right. Even when he was younger...he still seemed a little off. The gold and white tom tried not to let it bother him, but he had began to wonder. On gatherings, he would announce the wrong warrior, maybe even a non-existent one. Whenever there was a war going on through the clans, he would lead them the wrong way. Sometimes, Flashstar even forgot his own territory.

Today he was going hunting with Moonflight. Moonflight padded up to her leader's den and waited patiently. Flashstar padded out and nodded at Moonflight signaling he was ready to go. Flashstar lead the way out of newly named Randomclan. He started heading towards Shadowclan territory. Moonflight skidded up to her leader and jabbed him lightly with her tail.

"What was that for?" Flashstar asked angrily.

"You were going the wrong way. We're hunting by the forest, not into enemy clan territory," Moonflight pointed out jerking her head back towards the forest.

"I knew that," Flashstar snapped and stormed off into the direction of the trees. While hunting the leader paused scenting a mouse. Slowly he padded up towards it in the hunter's crouch. Flashstar's eyes narrowed and the tiny mouse didn't suspect anything. In a matter of seconds Flashstar had the mouse pinned, and with a swift blow to the neck it was dead.

Moonflight ran up with a smile, "Flashstar you did it!"

Flashstar's mouth hung open, "Really?"

Moonflight shot him a confused glance, "Yes...you did."

Flashstar then smiled proudly, "I know I got it right!" With that he picked up the mouse and bounded happily back to camp.

Moonflight muttered, "Poor tom."

**Review please!**


	8. Blackstripe's catnip

**dudanni5: XD and I know, I read my stories every now and then. **

**Butterfly that flies at Dawn: Thanks :)**

**Priceless Cat Lady: Thanks, I like it too**

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_**Randomclan Allegiance **_

**Leader: Flashstar, bright white tom with huge blue eyes**

**Deputy: Moonflight, Jet black she-cat, white ears and brilliant green eyes**

**Medicine cat: Scarletwing, ginger she-cat with silver eyes**

**Warriors: Thorntail, Golden tom with jagged black stripes, apprentice: Icepaw  
Snakefang: Dark gray tom with piercing amber eyes, apprentice: Jaypaw  
Blackstripe: White tom with a black ringed tail  
Darkflight: Dark brown she-cat with white paws  
Whiteflame: White she-cat with a vibrant orange underbelly, apprentice: Scarpaw  
Flarestorm: Dark ginger tom with golden ears  
Lilystep: Brown and white slender she-cat  
Raincloud: Pale silver she-cat with jay blue eyes  
Stormclaw: smoky gray and black tom, icy blue eyes**

**Apprentices: Jaypaw, blue gray she-cat  
Scarpaw: Dark brown tabby tom, scar over left eye  
Icepaw: White she-cat with silver ears and tail**

**Queens: Thunderstep, black she-cat with amber eyes Mate: Flarestorm (kits: Specklekit and Sparkkit) **

**Kits: Specklekit, pale ginger she-cat with black flecks  
Sparkkit: flaming ginger tom with black ears and paws**

**Elders: Minnowfoot, silver and white she-cat  
Smudgefur: black and gray patched tom  
Viperfang: black tom with brown ears, loosing sight**

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_Quote human version: Officer, I swear to drunk I'm not God!  
Cat version: Scarletwing, I swear to catnip I'm not Starclan!_

__Blackstripe wasn't the most reliable warrior in the clan. he tended to get easily side-tracked. When he was just an apprentice he wandered off into enemy clan territory just for a snack. Thank Starclan the white tom didn't get caught. Anyways another time he got really sick and had green-cough. The medicine cat, Scarletwing, had given him catnip.

That catnip smelt so good. Afterwards he couldn't help but feel so much better. Blackstripe had ran around the camp like there were no worries in the world. Which there were, Flashstar was still leader, and Bossyclan was going to go to war against Randomclan the next day. Only the battles weren't like you'd expect. Let's just say Flashstar was good at defeating the other clans. He had a certain talent for it. Blackstripe admired the fluffy leader in that way.

Anyways back to the catnip story. The scent really appealed to Blackstripe. He just had to have some of that catnip. It smelt like mint and the taste was even better than honey. Better yet, when he ate it he seemed stronger and all his worries disappeared, so he must have some. Soon he came across a whole patch of catnip. Greedily the tom gulped just about the whole plant down.

A smile played happily across his face. It stretched huge and cheeks kinda hurt. Blackstripe's eyes went huge like an owl's. His fur stuck up with excitement. He ran down the hill, "WOOOOO!"

Moonflight watched him run down the hill towards the camp with a really look plastered onto her face. Scarletwing watched in concern. He had clearly overdosed on catnip.

Scarletwing padded up to the Blackstripe, "Have you had any catnip recently?"

Blackstripe giggled, "Scarletwing, I swear to catnip that I'm not Starclan!"

Scarletwing face pawed, "Come on Blackstripe, it's the medicine den for you."

**Review please**


	9. Scarletwing the demented MedicineCat

**dudanni5: Is that a trick question, no I don't mind. I love it when people review :) I'm using your idea in this btw. **

**Butterfly that flies at Dawn: Thanks for the idea, it's also being used. **

**Priceless Cat Lady: XD I would do that look as well**

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_****Human version: Oh my God  
Cat version: Oh my Starclan (Quote idea from: Butterfly that flies at Dawn) (The Blackstripe destroying the camp idea comes from dudanni5) _

__~Scatletwing's Pov~

Scarletwing rushes Blackstripe into her den. The white tom had severely over-dosed on catnip, and was in a muddle of crazy emotions. Scarletwing had never before had a patient with catnip over-dose problems. She was going to have to use a dangerous herb. A wild light rose in Scarletwing's silver eyes. Excitement crackled like lightning through her fur. Scarletwing had a certain knack for herbs that caused pain. Her favorites just so happened to be yarrow and death-berries.

Scarletwing looked around her den quickly and found the yarrow leaves. The were sharp at the edges and smelt rather tangy. However, she would need that to get rid of the catnip that made Blackstripe so crazy. Scarletwing loved seeing the cats convulse in pain. She sighed happily and turned around. The only problem, Blackstripe was gone.

~Blackstripe~

The medicine cat's den was so boring. There was nothing in there but a bunch of very stinky herbs. All of them tasted bad. All but one herb, catnip. Yet, all the catnip was gone.

Anyways Blackstripe was super bored. He leapt through the air and fell hard on the ground. He stayed there for a few moments then finally got up and shook dust off of his pelt. Out into the clearing he padded. No cat was to be seen. Out on patrols, Blackstripe realized. Oh well...then things got out of paw and den was destroyed.

~Time Lapse~

Flashstar looked at Blackstripe angrily, "Why did you trash our dens like a two-leg? You're so mean!"

Blackstripe replied happily, still high off of the catnip, "Why, are you mad at me. Ooooh, am I gonna get punished!?"

Flashstar grinned, "Nah, but why didn't you tell me you were trashing the dens? I wanted to help!"

Moonflight face-pawed herself outside the leader's den, "Oh my Starclan."

**Review please!**


	10. Gathering night 1

**dudanni5: YAY I'm glad you like to review. Lack of inspiration if ya don't. **

**Butterfly that flies at Dawn: Hmm...I'll use that one later...I've got an idea for this one *snickers* **

**Priceless Cat Lady: Ikr? lolz**

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_Human version: Darth Vader- "Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!"  
Luke Skywalker- "Nah, the rebels have cake."  
Darth Vader- "ooh! Can I be a rebel?!"  
Cat version: Bonestar leader of Ambitiousclan: We're the best we have HONEY!  
Flashstar leader of Randomclan: Nah, we have catnop  
Bonestar: Ooooh...can I come over? _

~Stormclaw's Pov~

Stormclaw wasn't as random as the rest of his clan. Quite a few times he thought of going to one of the other clans. Honestly though why would he go to one of them? There was Bossyclan, Sissyclan, and Ambitiousclan. Seriously, none of those suited him. Stromclaw's only problem was he could get so obsessed into other things. One moon he was so stuck on hunting, that's all he had wanted to do. Anyways back on track, tonight was the gathering night, and he was going.

~Time Lapse~

The moon shone brightly over the gathering island. All the other clans were already there. Sissyclan was giving every other clan terrified glances. Bossyclan were already sassing the other clans. Ambitiousclan's eyes were full of cunning secrets. Randomclan, of course, looked insane as always. Every cat except Moonflight and Stormclaw of course.

Two huge toms passed by him and knocked him over. In their apparent rush Stormclaw hadn't noticed a rather small she-cat pad up beside him. Her presence alone was spine chilling. The she-cat's fur was ghostly white with pale silver eyes. She looked eerie, like something you'd see alone in the dark forest. Her appearance said two things. One, she could take care of herself, two don't get on her nerves.

The she-cat spoke in amusement, "Ignore them, those two are always showing off."

Stormclaw jumped up in surprise and stared at her, "Um who are you?"

"Sorry. I must've scared you. I do that allot. My name's Ghostwhisper," She whispered.

Stormclaw smiles slightly, "It's fine. I'm Stormclaw. So which clan are you from?"

"Ambitiousclan," Ghostwhisper's tone was somewhat reluctant. It was as if she didn't want to be there.

Storclaw's eyes sparkled in amusement, "Your not so bad for a Ambitiousclan cat."

Ghostwhisper was about to send back a retort when the gathering started. The leaders were arguing about what clan was best as always. They never shared news like they were supposed to.

Ambitiousclan's leader, Bonestar, padded forward, "We're the best, we have honey!"

Flashstar yawned, and in an epic tone he said, "Nah, we have catnip."

Bonestar's eyes grew huge, "Ooh...can I come over?"

Stormclaw and Ghostwhisper looked at each-other. In equal voices they meowed, "Really?"

**So sorry this took forever! DX**


	11. Smexy Scarpaw

**Dudanni5: Thanks :) **

**Crystalmoon12345: XD I know right!**

**The Gone Angel: Thanks a ton :D**

Icepaw's Pov

Scarpaw padded around the Randomclan camp. The sun was angled, the rays hitting his face. The scar over Scarpaw's amber eye flashed a bright red. A light breeze flashed through his fur. The tabby tom's fur waved gently in the wind with a glossy sheen. His amber eyes were filled with triumph while little daises lay beneath his paws, along with bright green grass.

Icepaw watched him with a moony gaze. How could that tom get so hot? No wait, smexy was the better word. He was so edible. Especially with the way his dark brown fur waved in the wind. His scar showed how brave he was. Just the perfect tom in the forest. As Scarpaw's head turned to her, she nervously licked at her chest fur. Why did he just choose that moment to look at her? Scarpaw then did something very random. No seriously, it was Flashstar worthy.

Scarpaw spoke in a weird rhythm, "I'm bringing sexy back. All them other tom cats don't know how to act. I know I'm hottest cause I'm cool like that. Out of control watch me bring it back. I'm smexy and I know, and I'm not afraid to show it."

Icepaw's blue eyes stared lovingly at him, "Yes your smexy and I know it…."

Scarpaw stuttered looking shocked, "You…you think I-I am?"

Icepaw smiled, "Of course I do. Why else would I stare at you constantly?" Scarpaw just shrugged and smiled. Then they went to share fresh-kill.

Moonflight's Pov

"So Moonflight, how come you're the only normal cat here?" Asked Scarletwing.

Moonflight thought for a while, "I honestly don't know."

The two she-cats were silent. Moonflight watched as Flashstar's fluffy white pelt got caught up in a breeze. He smiled and stretched while rolling his muscled.

Moonflight stared with an odd smile on her face, "Flashstar looks so cute."

Scarletwing gasped, "Oooh, Moonflight has a crush on Flashstar!"

**Oooh, yes she does. XD The song's above are by: Justin Timberlake's Sexy back, and LMFAO's Sexy and I know It. Not plagiarized, I changed the lyrics. Don't forget to review guys!**


	12. Icepaw's Voices Part 2

_Quote: You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me._

**Icepaw's Pov **

****It was the normal day in Randomclan for quite a few cats. Only, not me and Scarpaw. Scarpaw was so adorable...oh geez what was I going on about again. I was seriously obsessed with that tom wasn't I? _Yes, yes you are. _Not the voices again...

I should probably explain what was happening today. Well Scarpaw and I were going to become warriors soon if we passed the hunting assessment we were given, then we would. I padded outside the den and waited as Scarpaw sat beside me. His dark brown pelt fluffed up against mine. _I bet your loving that. _Not today, any day but today...

Thorntail and Whiteflame padded up to us at about that time. Thorntail asked, "Are you ready for your assessment?"

Scarpaw and I flicked our tails to agree that we were. Whiteflame nodded, "Go on then, we'll be observing."

Scarpaw and I walked our separate ways. I started heading towards Owl Tree when I heard those voices again. _Not there dummy, go to Sunning Rocks. You'll find more prey there. _Okay then, I followed their advice and went down to sunning rocks. Once I got there, I flicked my tail once more in happiness, there was tons of prey here.

~Time Skip~

"How did you get so much prey!" Scarpaw exclaimed. Scarpaw had done well. He caught a sparrow, two mice, and a crow. However, I had caught two rabbits, three mice, and two squirrels.

I smirked in a way, "You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!"

Scarpaw shook his head, "Nah they speak to me to."

I frowned, "Then why didn't you get more prey?"

Scarpaw whined sadly, "My voices don't like me!"


End file.
